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September 19, 2005

Emblazened

Biz claims to have seen me in a blue blazer at some point in time and offers as proof a picture of me in a decidedly non-blue blazer.

That kid is whack, yo.

Moreover, he owes me a check for $18 since I last rocked the BB at my bar mitzvah. What kinda jackass shows up to your bar mitzvah uninvited and doesn't even give you a present. Also, when I was 13, Biz was, like, 24 ... which is pretty sketchy.

Funnily enough, I actually did go buy some wedding attire this weekend. This, as the result of a conversation with my mom:

Mom: So, you have something to wear to the wedding?

Me: Dunno ... what should I wear?

Mom: Well, a blazer would be nice.

Me: ...

Mom: Or just anything nice.

Me: ... I've got some Dockers.

Mom: So, we'll just tell everyone that you're from California.*

And I realized why I don't enjoy shopping for clothes ... I don't know how to dress myself. I've got no idea what pants go with what jacket go with what tie. When I finally got asked "Do you need any help?" I'd never been so ready to say "Yes!" in my entire life.

* This exchange measured out as a low-level Class 2 on the Jewish Mother Guilt Trip Scale - compliance was not strictly necessary but I wanted some new threads anyway.

5 comments:

Gwynneth said...

you managed to dress fine in high school...or did your mother dress you? hahah j/k

dgcopter said...

Might I also suggest getting a yarmulke? Perhaps a nice purple one? Ya gotta accessorize.

Baking Fairy said...

a great post, a few days before your birthday! that is so jewish of you....:)

Jason Goldman said...

The sad truth is that the percentage of my clothes bought by my mother has not appreciably declined in the past 10 years.

Today is, I think, a good day with 50% of my apparel being self-bought ... but that includes the belt.

Mom said...

Well, maybe your mother has good taste?!