My plan has two parts:
- No more paper phonebooks. Honestly, fuck the phonebook. Never has the internet more completely obsoleted an old technology. Plus, there's no book that has more pages, costs more to deliver and is read less than the phonebook. I estimate the savings from its elimination to be on the order of fucktons.
At the very least delivery should be made opt-in.
- Assigned seating in movie theaters. The earlier you buy your ticket the better your seat. This rewards the anal movie-going crowd (that's me) in that you no longer have to both buy tickets beforehand and show up super-early to get the best seats. And it leaves the procrastinators in no worse position for their astonishing lack of foresight. In fact, they are better served because with assigned seats, we can optimize to avoid scattered single seats.
The only losers in this plan are those who've foisted upon us the unholy creation known as Pre-Show Entertainment. These are probably the same people who want to keep the phonebook alive because it's essentially a 10,000 page advertisement. I say, fuck those people and their phonebook-loving asses.
May God bless our great land.