Why I don't buy pornography

Just picked up a bottle of Crisco and a 4 pack of batteries from Walgreens. Crisco always seems dirty on its own, but the C cells suggested some additional level of depravity. Does vegetable oil conduct? Some sort of auto-electro-lubricatory ridiculousness?



Good lord, my mother reads this. And me not only buying Crisco and batteries but also with a rented copy of Secretary secreted away in the pouch of my hooded sweatshirt.



So, yes, for all of this. And because the internet gives it away for free.