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January 19, 2005

Note to Jason Sutter

Don't you ever show up in one of my dreams and tell me what I can and cannot eat again.

First off, I don't eat, as you rudely stated "Up to 4 sausages a day." I do enjoy the occassional sausage but it's not like a daily snack or something.

Second, I don't even eat beef. So how am I going to follow your advice and cut back on it. Think about that, bucko.

Finally, before dispensing dietary advice you should check yourself to make sure that your arm isn't a giant ladle. And you'd be a lot more believable if you weren't sitting in giant high chair like some frickin' toddler. I take eating very seriously and am not about to start having the shots called by a goddamn bearded infant.

I do apologize for bursting into tears, however. It was unmanly.

4 comments:

Ev. said...

LOL!

Gwynneth said...

you don't eat beef?

Mary said...

don't you eat babies?

joel said...

This is the funniest blog post I've read in a very long time.