January 19, 2005

Note to Jason Sutter

Don't you ever show up in one of my dreams and tell me what I can and cannot eat again.

First off, I don't eat, as you rudely stated "Up to 4 sausages a day." I do enjoy the occassional sausage but it's not like a daily snack or something.

Second, I don't even eat beef. So how am I going to follow your advice and cut back on it. Think about that, bucko.

Finally, before dispensing dietary advice you should check yourself to make sure that your arm isn't a giant ladle. And you'd be a lot more believable if you weren't sitting in giant high chair like some frickin' toddler. I take eating very seriously and am not about to start having the shots called by a goddamn bearded infant.

I do apologize for bursting into tears, however. It was unmanly.


Ev said...


Gwynneth said...

you don't eat beef?

Mary Flack said...

don't you eat babies?

joel said...

This is the funniest blog post I've read in a very long time.