February 09, 2003


My mom tells me that there are district-mandated steps her school has to follow when the TerrorMeter is elevated, as it was this past week. For example, Orange requires that all teachers check their voicemail more frequently. I guess the idea is to make sure that al Qaeda didn't call up a second grade teacher in suburban Missouri to give advance warning of a terrorist attack. If we go to Red, outdoor recess is cancelled ... which is totally lame because you can only play Heads Up Seven Up so many times before you realize everyone's cheating.

The thing is, the idea behind the whole color coded terror level is working. When the alert level is raised to Orange, parents call my mom asking what their elementary school prinicipal is doing to keep their kids safe from anthrax.

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

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